Sunny days & Starry nights ... Thursday, December 24, 2015
Thankful for...
Loyalty
Selfless Love
& Infinity
& Lazy afternoons ...
8:09 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
24th dec... 7 days to 2016
& Lazy afternoons ...
7:43 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Sunny days & Starry nights ... Monday, October 19, 2015
So here we are, at 20th October, 2015. I am 25 years，8months and 8 days old today. I have been holding the same job since July 2013. That will be about 2years 3months till date. 2years 3months...with the yardsticks in my life thus far, it would feel like half of sec school, the whole of jc..nearing the end of uni.
The growth curve has perhaps been an exponential one, not in terms of knowledge, or the wild inspired realms of the greater mind, but in acting out responsibities, and dealing with problems. So, this is the 'society' that the adults have been talking about.
I definitely would not say I have wrapped my head around it, or am currently happy with how things are running. Right now, for all that I have gained, I can say the same about all that I have unwittingly lost.
Dreams. Free spirit. Guts.
You need to come back to me. Pronto.
& Lazy afternoons ...
11:54 PM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Sunny days & Starry nights ... Friday, December 12, 2014
A photograph - a moment frozen. a tangible captured bearing the intangible soul in which the photographer wishes to speak through the lenses; about that time, that space, and that entity. With that holding true, looking through the photos I have taken throughout this 12 day adventure, there seems to be missing a soul. That perhaps explains why it was that bit more challenging to sieve out the album-worthy ones from the mass, cos nothing quite stands out!
and probably so, it may suggest a change in the self and the perspective I now hold as contrasted with the past. Lost the ability to be really in the moment? Lost the manner of appreciating the beauty of simplicity? And just...lost in looking ahead at the next destination, crtiquing people and things less desirable, and just not being IN the moment.
yes, that's that. And how it came about probably lies in getting trapped in the habit of skepticism. Skepticism, as a habit, makes one cautious of being fully immersed, perhaps for fear of disappointment. We no longer subscribe so easily to one belief, or revel in the beauty of one thing, for a barrier has long formed in the heart in opening up. At least for my case, I think that's it. This is along the line of "That's life" and how most people resign to their fate after some time.
but no, that is not how it should be. Why does one travel, and what purpose lies in it. There is a myraid of reasons for travel; people travel for different reasons. One thing to be aware of is travelling in the shoes of a tourist versus that of a traveller. " A traveller sees what he sees, a tourist sees what he has come to see." In essence, it represents an open mind and a closed mind. Like what our guide Nihar has reiterated thru'out, "nothing is wrong, just different". As adults, we has been operating so much in mould-like stereotypes (aka systems and structures) that we are so used to doing things a certain way, and a specific way. This inevitably translates into "how things should be." As this mindset permeates, we find ourselves imposing our ideals on things, and that is how being judgemental comes about.
I would like to abandon this jadedness and skepticism as a window to life, and accept it as "this is how things are" I would take in little wonders, embrace fully, and have every atom present.
& Lazy afternoons ...
9:22 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Sunny days & Starry nights ... Monday, November 03, 2014
I can see clearly now the clouds are gone
Sometimes, we get so caught up in the run of things, nodding our heads too quickly, picking up things too quickly, zooming to and fro too hurriedly, listening to respond instead of understanding too hastily...that... the voice inside gets so muffled that it becomes ignored unknowingly. You reckon?
That has been happening to me and on hindsight, it occurred to me how frivolous I have been. Need some quiet to reflect.
The thing about making a name in a group. Probably labelled as status and impression - would that be correct? I have recently been on a cycling trip, and some things baffle me. Maybe pride and ego would come in the same bundle. People zoom fast, afraid to stop, afraid to take a rest, afraid to admit that things are difficult...or maybe...people LIKE pushing the limits, and find meaning in that? That is the inherent similarity found in the profile of the people who come together in this context, following the idiom that 'birds of the feather flock together' yes no?
Now that is an interesting thought...It seems that many went alone, and there perhaps only are 2 couples in the entire group of 48. Mostly singles, or married, but definitely, the majority falls in the age group of above 35. How is the mindset of a human being single and above 35? and how different is that compared to that of someone 25? And how does the mentality and priorities of a married person above 35 compare to that of someone unmarried at that age? Things are definitely different, as for one, the presence and absence of children say a whole lot about priorities and responsibilities. How differently will one see things after getting married and given life to another?
I question, for I want too, to know, where I stand admidst these people. What makes us different and similar. How else can I make up for who I am, and move thereafter. Who do I want to become?
Again, at 24, there are a lot of dilemmas I face. I can't quite grapple with how young I am allowed to be, and how matured I should act. I am afraid that I am not behaving the way a 24 year old should be, and yet, still relinquish the responsibility-free, heck-care style of a teenager. But I admit that I revel in acting more childish then I am, perhaps to gain more rooms for making error. Speaking of which, self-reprimand has been raining hard on me wrt the issue of time. Late for marking, late for school, late for coach, late for ferry.... I go..what's wrong with me! Why can't I just get things right? I know I should be chided... but pls be a little kinder? I tell myself that is part and parcel of growing up, and I want to embrace them.
and before I end off, in a friendship, perhaps there is no balance. To who is giving more, and who is receiving more and less.
that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
& Lazy afternoons ...
5:08 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Sunny days & Starry nights ... Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Once we set foot on home soil, the quickening of our walking pace was starkly apparent. The once-forgotten name of the cafe chain 'Starbucks', and the familiarly carpeted ground beckoned us, "Welcome home!" Yes, it was 14 December 2013, 21 47, the moment we had been holding in quiet anticipation. Our five day stint of toilet-infrastructure-building at Svay Village and nightly teaching at UNACAS (Unaccompanied Association) had finally come to a closure, and we were back from Phnom Pehn, Cambodia, for good!
No, if you had thought that it was with relief that we returned to the comforts of home, you are wrong. Even though our bodies were wearied from weathering days of strenuous work under the relentless sun of Cambodia, our faces were beaming with pride, indescribable. It stemmed from a sweet knowing that we had served a needy community, and sowed seeds of joy to be reaped by the locals. The trench that we jointly dug and bricks that we eagerly transported helped lay the foundation of the toilet which will soon improve the sanitation of the village. The daily lessons of ABCs and financial literacy we painstakingly planned and delivered at the orphanage, I believe too, will go a long way in positioning the upcoming generation of the country advantageously in the long run.
It was almost impossible to believe how deeply scarred a country can be by a history that happened not too long ago, but that was what amplified the meaningfulness of our actions.
Pol Pot, a name stuck in my head, and whose unimaginable atrocities traumatise vicariously still.
& Lazy afternoons ...
8:42 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Growing up in my twenties
and it seems, gaining the ability to take perspectives, learning how to put the self second to paramount importance, realizing that there are myriads of vicissitudes in life that de-signify your problems...are what growing up entails.
As much as those spell maturity, which brings along a lot more stability, credibility, and perhaps, more functionality, something intangible is also lost as maturity is gained. That is perhaps what sets adults and children apart.
I see myself in the transition of the two, and it is apparent how I am relinquishing the loss of a childish nature to acquire that of a matured adult. Right now, I wanna say, I don't like it, for I am moving away from
1) Carefree-ness. The ease of doing as the heart says. The ease of saying what the heart feels. And because there is much more prudence which gives birth to caution, many things are held back. Yes, we need that filter, but don't we also in the midst, block the most genuine, raw, emotions that reside in us?
What do you like to do? Ask an adult, and he or she will probably pause for a long moment. Many things have become so much of a habit, and so much of routine, that what is, deep, deep down inside, has been neglected. Adults do what is RIGHT, not what they WANT. Come on...let's break some rules here!
which brings me to the next point.
2) Loving unconditionally without expecting anything in return
我給你最後的疼愛是手放開
this kinda love. There is a reason why puppy love is the sweetest. That innocent, unconditional love, which only unscarred hearts are capable of. That gullible love that you can possess the whole person, and that you are the whole world to your lover. That is sweet. yet, sadly, not too sustainable.
There is also a reason why it is easier to make friends as a child as compared to an adult. Trust. It was easier to trust a friend and call a friend a friend. Wearing your heart on the sleeve and giving it to just anyone who comes along. Less judging. More loving. Now we evaluate, second-guess and doubt too much. The barrier we create protects ourselves, but at the same time, it keeps people out.
3)
duties, burdens, responsibilties, do u want to be another of that
ego, receiving help
& Lazy afternoons ...
8:40 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Sunny days & Starry nights ... Sunday, October 19, 2014
Roses are red
Violets are blue
My favourite season is Summer
&I love her too!
& Lazy afternoons ...
5:13 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Sunny days & Starry nights ... Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Suddenly, there is an intense urge for some wild adventure. To just venture and see the world...to taste the culture...to get out of the norm.
Energy sapping it indeed is to deal with the chaos of children. Of childish tantrums and quarrels...it's not a sane place to be at all. This is not how I want to occupy my youthful minutes.
Let's escape. take a chance. and venture into a world of wandering and finding the self!
& Lazy afternoons ...
4:36 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
